The Dark Magician's Vacation
by gangling freak
Summary: Once A Month Sequel! The Dark Magician and friends decide to take a vacation to get time away from the hard life as a duel monster. DM also finds this as a time to get more romantic...
1. The Airport

YO! What is happinin' my funky fresh homies?!... Yeah... umm... right... Anyway! I have returned... yet again... to bring you quality entertainment! I know so many of you were expecting this... so here it is. THE SEQUEL TO MY BELOVED STORY!!!!! This is the sequel to my fic, Once A Month. Only this story is bigger, longer, and UNCUT!!! (heh heh... south park rulz!) Well, I best shut up now and get on with the story!  
  
The Dark Magician's Vacation  
the sequel to... Once A Month Catagory:Comedy/Romance Rated: R (for language, brief nudity, illegal substance abuse, and crude humor)  
  
Chapter 1: Airport  
  
*A few months have passed and the DMG has been working her ass off for the DM. He decides it's time to take a little vacation...*  
  
DM- So... *talking with CG (Celtic Guardian), FS (Flame Swordsman), DMG, ME (Mystical Elf), and MF (Magician of Faith)* Where are we gonna go?  
  
CG- We're not going to the zoo this year because... I refuse to... I refuse to go to the Orangatang exibit ever... again! *crosses his arms*  
  
ME- Celty, the apes weren't doing naughty things to you, they were picking for fleas, that's all!  
  
CG- Yeah! They were looking a little too far south, if you get my drift!!! *freaking out*  
  
MF- Can we get back to the subject at hand?! *Celty puts his head down and Mysti pats his back*  
  
FS- I know where we can go!!! *pulls out a brochure for a beach with ice blue waters, big luxery resorts and tons of naked people with beer* CANCUN!!! Whoooo! _  
  
DM-Cancun? Isn't that in Mexico? *blinks twice*  
  
CG- Yeah, how do we plan to get there? We live in the shadow relm! ((well, i had to keep it a little like the real story!))  
  
FS- We'll take a plane! When we get there we'll just... blend in! *hand movements*  
  
DMG- Sounds fun!!! *happily* ^_^  
  
MF- Yeah... besides, check out the beaches! *wide eyed*  
  
FS- Yeah! And all the naked chicks! WHOOO! *pointing at the pictures*  
  
CG- Well... I don't mind as long as we don't have to go to the zoo! *nods his head*  
  
DM- Hmm... *hesitates*  
  
ME- I'm up for it as long as I can get a tan! *rubs a blue cheek*  
  
DM- Well... *everyone looks at him* Yeah... o-kay then... *shrugs*  
  
DMG- YAY! Thanks Darky! *kisses his cheek*  
  
DM- *blush*  
  
*Each of them goes to his/her home to pack for the trip. At the DM's house...*  
  
DM- Hmm... I think that's everything! *throws his trunks into the bag* Hey, are you done pack- *sees the DMG trying to fit herself in a suitcase* O.o What are you doing?  
  
DMG- I'm trying to fit... Darky, I need a bigger suitcase!!! *whines*  
  
DM- *slaps his forehead with his palm* Why me, Ra... You're not supposed to pack yourself sweetheart!  
  
DMG- Then how am I gonna get on the plane? *curious*  
  
DM- You're going to walk.  
  
DMG- You mean you can walk on a plane? *clueless*  
  
DM- Well... not while it's flying.  
  
DMG- Planes fly?!?! *shocked*  
  
DM- Oh my Ra... *shakes his head*  
  
DMG- Well, o-kay! * she gets her skimpy, skimpy bathingsuit ready to pack*  
  
DM- What... is that? Floss? *shocked*  
  
DMG- No silly... It's my bathingsuit. *giggles*  
  
DM- Did you just call me... Nevermind. You're not bringing that... that... STRING!! *a hint of jealousy in his voice*  
  
DMG- But why? What's wrong with it? *confused*  
  
DM- I just don't think its... well... appropriate! *holding the tiny top in his thumb and index finger* Please, don't bring it.  
  
DMG- Well... M-kay, Darky... *smiles*  
  
DM- Good girl. *kisses her cheek* Meet me down stairs when you're done! *leaves the room*  
  
DMG- Well... he told me not to "bring" it, but he didn't say don't "pack" it! *giggles and puts the "floss" in her suitcase*  
  
*They join eachother and make their way to the shadowy, inter-relm airport*  
  
DMG- Wow... *looking around* This airport is really big!... Kinda like your penis, Darky! *looking at him* ^_^  
  
All but DMG- O.o WTF???  
  
DM- What the?! How?! How would you know?! *shocked*  
  
DMG- Well... this one night you were up in your room, with the door locked, and you were moaning, so I looked through the keyhole and... *interupted by DM*  
  
DM- WAIT! How... where did you learn that word?! *red with embarassment*  
  
DMG- Well, I heard you say it before... so I looked it up in the dictionary... and it said, "male reproductive organ."... So, then I had to look up organ, and...  
  
DM- O-KAY! LET'S JUST GET TO THE PLANE! *embarassed*  
  
*They get to the counter and the cashier behind the desk is dressed like Michael Jackson (white glove and all!)*  
  
FS- We need six tickets to Cancun, Mexico, Dude! *does little dance*  
  
DM- *puts his hand on his forehead* Oh Ra...  
  
ME- Flames... not "the dance..."  
  
Cashier- *smiles* All right... That'll be $6,532.48 please! ((random number for the price!))  
  
FS- Hold on... *whispers to the cashier* Make on of those a first class ticket, would ya bro?*cashier makes the change*  
  
Cashier- That'll be... $6,856.48 please! *smiles*  
  
DM- WHAT?! I thought it was $6,532.48?! What the hell did you do?! *grabs the Flame Swordsman by the collar*  
  
FS-O.O*** WHOA! Chill man! I tried to get him to lower the price... but evidently, he pressed the "addition" button instead of the "subtraction" button and... fucked up the price!... maybe I pissed him off... if that is a him, that is! *talking frantically*  
  
DM- Shut up! Just Shut up!! *annoyed* Now, I'll pay for the tickets and we'll get on the plane! *searches his pockets* Umm... I don't have the money! I must have left my wallet at home!  
  
CG- Oh brilliant move, genious! Now how do we expect to go?!  
  
DM- ... *idea* Oh... give me your credit card, Celty!  
  
CG- Well... *gets the card out* Are you gonna pay me back?  
  
DM- Umm... No... but if you don't give it to me... I'll tell everyone about what happend at the zoo!  
  
CG- *gives him the card quickly and willingly* I have some cash... oh, and I brought my check book if you need that too!  
  
DM- No... Just the card will be fine, thank you. *takes the card and gives it to the cashier*  
  
Cashier- All right... *makes transaction* Hey, do you like Michael Jackson?  
  
DM- What... I went to prison with him... he tried to... nevermind! *sickend look*  
  
CG- Yeah, him and that chimp of his are a little "fruity" if you know what I mean... *winks*  
  
Cashier- Well... do you like Michael Jackson?  
  
FS- No! But we can see you do! *points at him*  
  
Cashier- Oh... *puts tickets in an envelope* Well, do you know what big hit he did in 1987? *wide-eyed*  
  
DM- I don't know... "Triller!?" *impatient*  
  
Cashier- NOPE! It was "Bad!" Looks like you need to study more!  
  
CG- Looks like you need to dress like a man! *smiles*  
  
DM- PLEASE, JUST GIVE US THE DAMN TICKETS, JACK-O!! *pissed off*  
  
Cashier- O.o O-kay... O-kay... *puts tickets on the desk*  
  
DM- *passes them out to everyone quickly* NOW, LETS GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!  
  
CG- No kidding! *nods*  
  
*they begin to walk off*  
  
FS- *to cashier* Hey! Say hello to your brother Tito for me, dude! *waves and catches up with the others*  
  
*They walk towards the gate to board their flight*  
  
****Well... that was interesting... I was just thinking... of how funny it would be if I wrote a fic about InuYasha and Sessho-maru as rappers... The baddest mo' fo' to ever live... he'll cap you with his two fully-automatic weapons if you so much as look at him wrong... Sesho-marizzle... and then the beat-boxin', break dancin' foo'... MC InuYasha Bizzle... Yeah... that would be kinda funny... heh... Anyway, I hope you like this story so far... tell me if it's getting better than the first one... and if you haven't read the first one... well... you should... because it's awesome... see ya next chapter!  
--gangling freak  
(currently listening to Led Zepplin's Stairway to Heaven) 


	2. Darky's Secret

**** Mark: Hi... We're back, just like I said we'd be back... You can leave now and beat the traffic...  
  
Tom:... or beat your meat...  
  
Mark: Or, you can stick around and beat your meat... I like that... I think I'm gonna say that every night from now on... You can leave and beat the traffic, or you can stick around and beat your meat!  
  
---excerpt from The Mark, Tom and Travis Show: Enema Strikes Back  
  
Heh heh... that CD's the greatest... beautiful words of wisdom from America's smart-ass punk trio! Well... On with the fic!!! YAY!!!! ^_________________^  
  
Chapter 2: Darky's Secret  
  
*The group is headed towards the gate*  
  
DM- Come on! We're gonna miss the plane! *dragging his carry-on bag with him*  
  
FS- *get's in front of the group and stops them* You guys... I have a confession to make... *takes a deep breath*  
  
DM- This better be good because if we miss our plane... *pulls a pineapple out of nowhere* I'm gonna shove this pineapple up your ass!  
  
ME- Where... in the hell... did that come from? *wide-eyed*  
  
Everyone- O.o *awkward silence*  
  
DM- Umm... . *sweatdrop*  
  
DMG- He put it up his ass before the trip! ^_^ *smiling innocently*  
  
MF- *slowly walks up and looks DM in the eye* Do you grow pineapples up your ass? *calmly*  
  
*The CG falls to the floor, rolls into a ball and starts laughing hysterically*  
  
CG- Ha ha ha ha! *banging the floor with his fist and pointing at the DM* Ha ha! LOSER! Ha ha ha ha! You grow pineapples up your ass! *he gets up and runs circles around the DM* Ass Pineapple! Pineapple Ass! Pineapple Ass Grower! HA HA!  
  
ME- Celty... stop... *puts her hand on his shoulder*  
  
*the Celtic Guardian stops and stands completely still*  
  
CG- A-hem... *clearing his throat* Sorry... *smiles and starts to chuckle, but controls himself*  
  
DM- I DON'T GROW PINEAPPLES UP MY ASS! I was just "holding" it there because I don't like Mexican pineapples, they taste like shit! *crosses his arms*  
  
MF- Well... What makes you think that one's gonna taste any better?!  
  
FS- Hey! This is my announcement time, not YOURS! Who cares, we can talk about his queer pineapple fetish later! Right now, I have a confession to make! *takes a deep breath*  
  
CG- *pats FS on the back* We know you're gay, man! It happens! Some people are just born like that... and other people... like me... well, thery're just not!  
  
FS- What the hell do you mean? I like BOOBS!  
  
CG- Yeah... "MAN" boobs! *laughs*  
  
FS- Shut the fuck up, man! Let me make my fucking announcement! APE RAPE!  
  
CG- HEY!... That's not cool... *crosses his arms and makes a pouty face*  
  
FS- Anyway, what I was trying to say before I was rudely interupted... *tries to burn a hole into the CG's forehead* I've always had a dream to anal-rape Michael Jackson!  
  
Everyone- O.o *awkward silence*  
  
*cricket... cricket...*  
  
CG- *fakes a cough* queer!  
  
FS- Naw... I'm just kiddin' you guys... *silence* You know... ha... ha... um... *scratching his head*  
  
CG- Right... *smiles*  
  
FS- Uh... actually... my announcement was... I... um... I left my Scooby- Doo boxers at home and I was wandering if I could borrow someone's clean undies 'cause I only brought dirty ones...*pulls out dirty briefs*  
  
Everyone- Ewwwwww... O.o *stick out tounges*  
  
ME- That's just wrong... *skewed face*  
  
MF- Did those used to be white? *discusted*  
  
FS- No... *nervously* I... bought them like this... Don't you know brown is the new white!?  
  
DMG- Brown is NASTY! *sticks out tounge* PINK is better! *smiles*  
  
ME- Only reason you say that is because you wash your whites and colors together! White and Red make Pink! *laughs at her own joke*  
  
DMG- ...???... *five minutes later...* Ha ha! *laughing hysterically* That was funny! Ha Ha! ^__^  
  
ME- O.o *confused*  
  
CG- *to ME* Only a true blond would laugh at a joke that makes fun of her! *ME nods*  
  
DM- *looks at his watch* SHIT! We better get our asses moving or we'll miss our plane!  
  
FS- Aye, aye *salutes him* Cap'n FRUITY! *DM stares daggars at him*  
  
*They all walk through the gate and board their flight to Cancun*  
  
**** Hmm... well... never knew the DM was into those kinds of things! Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter... the next part is still isn the writing process, so it could be a while... Can't promise when it'll be up... just keep checking! Thanks guys... Later. -GF 


End file.
